Thank God It's Friday...Maybe Not WhereYou Are This Is Yesterday

Like I said in my last entry it is not as easy writing here as it is in my personal journal.  I can say

what I want there and it is a lot easier to edit out stupid grammar mistakes and it is great practice

when I do write.  I am a writer but when compared to others I don't.  I was inspired by a many a

writer.  No I doubt I have 10,000 hours of writing even though I actually have journals that go back

years.  Those journals are based on what I call Monkey Mind Bullsh&*!  Like you I have a family

who should stand behind me and they do but it is what they do and their actions and inaction's that

cause my inaction's due to serious dwelling on things I have no control of which includes lessons

from my very bad past that I all ready learned from.  I might come back make a couple of sentences

out of  the previous one but due to the the work it takes to keep a double space I probably will not.  I


would like to say that I enjoy being a househusband but I don't.  What takes my wife seconds takes

me a few minutes what takes her a few minutes takes me a half hour.  Some of the things my wife

does fast like her method for doing dishes is great if we owned a dishwasher but depending who has


been over for dinner with various mouth disorders makes me retch at the thought.  My bathroom

laundry that I fold takes longer but looks more presentable if we had company that needed to use a

facecloth or a towel.

Next year I will be 60 at this time.  I don't feel it but unfortunately I look it.  I need to get published.

Yes having a blog is technically being published but when you blog as infrequently as I have who

would even know?  Some may look at what I have said because of my Twitter pages.  I have tons of

Twitter followers if you happen to read this because of Twitter please leave a message.  A narcissists

I might be but no harm will come to you for knowing me my head is not that big.  You have to be a

bit of a narcissists to be a writer and have at least the sign of an ego.  I could write a novel about me

or make believe it was someone else would you?  I have had quite a life but I don't have a legacy.  I

was bad,  my wife says I was a P which is the opposite of a C neither of which do I think makes for a

good title or a name to call a male or a female.  Just keeping you on the same page.

I have never traveled around the world but I have been all over this country and there I places I

 have not seen that I would still like to visit.  Last year I traveled to and through 26 states in 22 days.

I could have used this map by Kerouac:

I read "On The Road" before I took my last journey.  All I could think of on my way home was this

map as I drove through states I never been to before using the Northern route.

     

Hope You'll Be Seeing More Here As The End Of My 30's Is Near

As much as I wanted to rejoin my friends on the Mother Road/Route 66 in Joplin MO it was not in

 my best interest to leave my very humble home.  Those of you who know me know everyday is a

 struggle I do not care to admit to.  After a frightful fall down the front stairs of my home I felt as 

though that my 30's youth I boasted reminded me to cherish and to be grateful each time I made it to

unlock the door to the minivan in the driveway that has taken me from Revere Beach two blocks 

away from where I live to the parking lot on the Santa Monica Pier over three thousand miles from 

here.

Wow!  It is more difficult trying to make an entry on this blog versus writing in my journal where I 

should not be editing anyway.

Sorry for the sound of regret but I'll have to change the name of this blog to "60's The New 40's".  I 

need to stop putting off today or yesterday what can be done by committing to do some serious 

writing.  I can write you know.

I Have No Idea Of What To Do

As the age of 60 nears let me tell you even though emotionally distraught I still feel like 30 something.

Yesterday's writing in my other blog was a realization it takes much longer than making a journal entry.  Wish I could tell YOU everything that has happened since September 22, 2010.


After promising myself to start using my LLC by deciding to set up an office in my basement by January 1, 2011 that project held back by my Boomerang daughter who had much deeper problems as an actual 30 something who needed the room where my new office was planned to be built.    

My youngest daughter had a job at that time and was hanging in the basement with the man who she made her son with in 1990, my grandson.  This hanging in the basement was going on for quite some time for which I was in protest of and arguments of which nearly cost my marriage of 35 years at that time. 

The routine was, and varied by 2 hours, at or around 5:00 PM they would come in with a bag of food hang down there in the one room with 1 twin sized bed with cable TV.  They let the dog out to pee and poop until it was time for the father to take their son who was out and about to his mother's house near my grandson's school.

Keep in mind this was an unfinished room that was only meant to be available for a few weeks till this family of 3 found a place to live.

Now imagine 4 years of the above. 

No longer the bread winner I had no say nor a leg to stand on with my puny SSDI Check.

Then things changed.  I love change but what was about to happen could and did effect me in a very negative way.

My daughter started coming home alone.  Sometimes real early or real late.  The dog did not know whether to hold it in or wait for her master.  The dog's master was often too tired to take her loud barking dog out and one day jumped on the bed and peed to let her master know she had to go.

When weekends approached during this change more often than not one evening between Friday and Monday my daughter never showed up to let her dog out.    

No one knew about turning my future office into a kennel that was occasionally cleaned of her poop or pee.

No one saw what was coming my daughter eventually abandoned  her dog to go live with her new boyfriend.

I kind of became withdrawn from the events.  I was writing in my journal almost every day or up until the Monkey Mind Bullshit started flowing from my fingertips.  Speaking of tips the previous is just the tip of what was going on but basically Monkey Mind Bullshit.

Driving to California once again finally making it to a Route 66 festival on the desert in 2012 alone was a major break through for me not quite breaking out to be that writer.


 

I Really Enjoyed This Summer

The Highlight Of This Year Came During The Last Quarter Of Spring Which Had Nothing On This Past Summer.

I spent more time with my Godson this past Spring in total time since he was christened 18 years ago.


It was at my mothers passing that I mentioned to my nephew I would be taking a trip down Route 66 asking him if he would be interested in joining me this Summer.


I was pumped thinking how great to be able to take some serious pictures since driving and shooting pictures is not safe and seldom get what you're shooting at.


Touching base with my nephew was more of a chore than I needed to deal with while getting my mother's stuff in order even though her knowing she was passing made it a lot easier.


My wife had plans for while I was away and made it clear that she had arranged her vacation from work so that she could get some stuff done around here at the house.


My last trip to Route 66 which was solo but very rewarding in comparison to the very first trip, where my stress level was very high as my father in-law's pending death weighed heavy on my mind.


The last trip, I came home to a brand new kitchen floor.


What would have, could have and should have happened this trip never did, what ever it would have been.


Why?


I will take the rap because of guilt from not making much effort of being the greatest Godfather.

 
This lead me to beckon to my Nephew's wish to leave earlier than the date that coincided with my wife's vacation time.


I did not think this could or should have any bearing on what ever it was, my wife had planned while we were away.


Why did we leave early?


We left early because my Nephew knew it was hurricane season and Route 66 happens to be part of Hurricane Ally and I stupidly was up for it even though I am an adult.


As a matter of fact I was hoping to experience earthquakes when we finally got to Cali.


My biggest mistake was thinking that my nephew who had experienced his first year in college, was a fully developed adult.


Wrong!


Don't get me wrong I love my nephew now more like a son rather than a Godson, but he has a long way to go for adulthood.


From what your reading so far you think that about me, Don't You?


If any of you are familiar with polio you might find what I have to say about how sometimes us folk handle anger does not involve the physical but leaves the emotional something to be desired.


Since we left Boston it was getting more impossible to find stuff to talk about because my nephew knew everything and he was made me believe it.


Not!


Each mile that went by I wondered, how did this kid make it through his first year of college?


It was an accumulation of statements and contradictions which led me to finally have a polio attach in New Mexico after my nephew refused to believe the headlights were still on and the engine had to be on before the lights would turn off without the built in timer that would turn them off using the battery that I was trying to conserve if it made a difference or not.


I might have over done it on the apology as my nephew took it to heart when I said this trip is all about and for him which was evident in the Rout 66 attractions were not seeing leaning away from the guide book I took just so we would not miss what was out there.


For more on the trip please see the Route 66 Boston Blog because I want you to know why and get back my Summer was the best I had in a while.


We got back June 28 which left the whole Summer with lots to write and or shoot about.


I did a very bad job of watching my salt intake on the trip and needed to put myself on a diet which by the way worked,  losing 8 LBS, of course that was from doctor appointment to appointment because I put on an easy 5 LBS.


I made runs to Mickey D's mostly for the $1.00 coffee and if I ate their poison it was without hash brown & french fries.


I have not been near or at 240 LBS in at least a century; I did this while hanging at Revere Beach getting a tan.


I wanted to write but wanting to and doing is two different things as you all know.


I did however take lots of pictures mostly in and around here in Revere.


I needed that Summer to recover from my trip I just wish I wrote more about while it was fresh in my mind but as the highlights come back to me I get them back to you.

Of course your encouragement is always welcome and encouraged.







 

Is Waiting For The Plumber The Reason I'm Not Deficating?

Can't be that bad of an emergency if I had a choice of 3:00 this afternoon or Monday Morning!

Usually when my wife is in a panic about most emergencies I automatically take it down a couple of notches and worry less than her heightened reaction to the situation that she is displaying.

My pipes are not flooding the basement but I have to go there to defecate and not turn any water on upstairs; but my plumber the one of the two I talked to, who lives at home with his mother does not think it is an EMERGENCY?

The last emergency where these guy's where involved that I had; was when my fairly new oil burner died with at least a quarter of a tank of oil left or so it appeared. 

They came within a few hours since it was march and I don't know about where you come from but around her it is dam cold but thankfully we had a break in the weather as a warm front moved in.

It was a good thing for the warm spell because what was going to happen next was going to take a while.

These guys have a permanent contract gig with a Housing Project which obviously makes them complacent so they have this lets make a little extra on the side thing by servicing people like my wife and I.

When they came I let them in through the basement door and went to my unfinished office where it was heated with an electric space heater.

I left them alone because I know I would hate having someone breathing down my neck.


Some serious time had passed as they started out with cleaning the oil burner which should be part of  the regular maintenance that was couple of months over due.


I was busy working in my office but could hear them hard at work troubleshooting the problem.


After hours of laboring at the problem they both came to the conclusion that the oil tank was THE problem and had to be replaced.

I had no doubt at this time that they were correct in there conclusion.

NOW WHAT DO WE DO?

REPLACE THE OIL TANK RIGHT?

NOT SO FAST!

I'm very grateful that my brother in law told us about these guys BUT!

That was when they came in and gave our basement an updated bathroom sink and toilet that was done at the fraction of the cost YOUR plumber would have charged YOU.

It was time to make up for their losses.   

OK our oil tank was leaking right where the pipe that goes into that filter which then goes through to the oil burner.

We now had a choice.

Do we want to replace the oil tank with the same type or do we want one of these double lined German made Roth's?

Hey I know if we care so much for the environment what are we doing heating our house with oil?

We went with the Roth it takes up less space...that might have something to do with it hold less oil?

My concern was what was going to happen to the quarter of a tank of oil?

It would be taken care of along with the old oil tank disposal all included in the quoted price.

This was the best part of this whole part of  REPAIR: The Tigerloop Ultra.

The plumber's could not get this thing to work but managed to mainline oil to the burner overnight because there was a severe cold front coming.

So why couldn't we just let it run without the Tigerloop Ultra? 

The oil needs be filtered is what I was told and that makes sense.

Halfway through the job or when the oil tank was cut in half they realized the oil tank was empty!

The oil tank's gauge was broken!

Did we really need a new oil tank?

Is my leaking drain pipe an EMERGENCY?

 





 
 







 

 

 
 

Trying To Get It Back

This is trash on my Revere Beach left by foolish Little Piggies that should know better.

I love this beach and why do they trash it?  Can you see the State Provided Trash Can to the Upper Left of this Dunkin Donut Coffee cup?  How lazy have we become?

I know my previous entry to this blog was a little too much.

Summer is finally here my favorite part of the year to come down to the beach. 

If you came here the very next day the trash the Little Piggies left would be gone.  It would have been taken away by the Chain less Gang who do their Civil Service by walking the beach, getting some sun and fresh air while keeping the beach clean so the Little Piggies can mess it up.

The Summer is where I try to get back my ability to write something worth reading for you.

I just got back from a spontaneous trip to California by way of Route 66 with my Nephew who just finished his first year in College.

There is Nothing that will top off your first year of college like a Road Trip across this great country of ours.

Then there is what is already in your own back yard.

Revere Beach in foreground Prudential Tower in the haze over Boston.

As a teen I would spend the whole Summer on the beach.

This was where lost my virginity to a girl who was way too young to know what she knew about boys.

This is where I met the girl next door type who might have known a lot about boys but she held those thoughts inside.

This is where I had family; people who cared for my welfare who knew I had both parents back home who worried where I was.

This where I got permission to smoke cigarettes if I would just stay in for one weekend.

When I was a teen the legendary rides where here and Old rides were actually replaced with newer rides.

Now tons of people come here mostly on weekends and Holiday's and sit across and on where there were sub shops, ice cream stands the hippodrome, roller coaster, merry-go-round and what ever I forgot.

It was my beach then and it is my beach now. 

Pick up YOUR Trash Lazy Piggies.

Why Mother's Day Sucked For This Father

No matter how high I lift myself from my un-clinical depression I can always count on my kids to bring me back down a couple of notches.

If in my 30's like I wished I would have thrown my, 15 year old acting 34 year old, daughter's boyfriend off the deck of my house and would be writing this as I awaited pending murder charges.

This past Mother's Day had the best weather anyone could have asked for.

This day was perfect for my gift to my mother.

It was the day that I intended to honor her last wishes which was to scatter her ashes on Revere Beach.

I couldn't honor my mother's wishes to the T because two of her friends were too busy being honored by their  own kids.

The one thing I know she wanted was her three remaining children to be there.

One of the people she wanted there was the woman who she sponsored in AA for 20 years.

This lady 20 years sober was our preacher who quoted highlighted phrases that my mother chose long before this day from her 12 Step book from AA.

There were 7 people present 3 people from AA , her remaining children and my wife for this beautiful ceremony.

The wind was gusting perfectly for this day and now we can visit this spot and speak to her anytime.

It was what my mother wanted.

If my mother was buried instead of being scattered in the wind along Revere Beach she would have turned in her grave at what was about to happen next.

DO YOU WANT THIS CANDY COATED OR THE FACTS?

Every time I see or hear those words they are a reminder of what was said to me in front of my mother 2 days before she died.

Those words also remind me of how I myself seldom CANDY COAT what I have to say and this day was the day it kicked me in the ass.

I can't even imagine being my wife on her day, well this day anyway.

My wife works her ass off so I can sit on mine while I find a way to get off YOUR dime.

My kids all three of them are from the THE ENTITLED GENERATION while I'm from the Baby Boomer Generation with a little flaw, that of getting out of debt after spending way beyond my means to purchase my first and only home.

I'm not going to whine to anyone how Post Polio takes its toll on my energy that can only be described as trying to keep an old rechargeable battery charged.

The mental, especially when I go MENTAL, drains me; which prevents the battery from charging.

Both my wife and I are trying to lose weight although she is only10 LBS over my 55 LBS and the holidays slow any progress for either of us.

So off we went reluctantly to get some Chinese comfort food to take back to the house for the kids and us.

I felt emotionally sound after fulfilling my mother's wishes.

My son and his wife did not show so it was my youngest and oldest daughters who joined us on this special day.

My youngest a mother, who is now back home for a second shot at trying to get her finances back in order was there with her son without the man who was the cause of them now living the last of their days in their second try at their apartment.

I'm really hoping she will turn it around for her and my grandson who deserves so much more.

My oldest was there with her DWI pending boy friend who smelled and acted like he had enough to drink at his parents already.

My oldest was walking around with 2 bottles of wine that were given to us by the woman's husband who my mother sponsored in AA.

I was throwing a couple of jabs at my oldest daughter who believes in Karma that let her former boss hug and kiss her recently after he fired her without any grounds to do so.

DWI was getting loud about this because he did not understand my sarcasm as I was being a bit more graphic by saying she French kissed the guy who should have got fired for sexual harassment.

I noticed DWI was louder than past visits and smelling of alcohol before the wine which should have been my warning for my kick in the ass.

After letting DWI know where the wine he was chugging came from I went down the road of "You should go to a couple of meetings."

He went down the river of Denial.

I can not preach AA but when ever I see someone with THE problem I give it a shot.

We talked about movies which led DWI to reveal that my oldest daughter had 22 of my DVDs which seemed to concern him way more than me.

But these next revelation were about sink me below the level of my shoes.

After my wife finally sat to relax with us we talked about losing weigh.

My oldest daughter was telling us how she was on a cleansing diet that she intended to get back on knowing there was good probability that we would have Chinese food.

DWI who is thin and well built was praising my daughter on her efforts and how he could NEVER do it.

I'm thinking, "If you were as fat as I am you would have no problem doing what my daughter is doing"

Ideally I'm 55 LBS over, doctor wise 96 LBS and Metropolitan wise 81 LBS over weight thinking in my pea brain this gave me the God given write to call DWI Shallow Hal.

This was it... this was how he could show his love for his girl by finally agreeing to what SHE was telling him about ME all along!

He says to me you should apologise.

I'm thinking to myself, "I'm only kidding what is this guys problem beside being drunk?"

He insisted I apologise. 

Finally I did, thinking maybe he's missing something in the translation to English from Portuguese?

He insisted again 2 more times.

I lost all my composure and yelled this time and asked him to leave after refusing my apology.

My kick in my ass was not thinking of my oldest daughter who I should have apologised to.

On the way out the door I was told by DWI you are an "Ass Hole!"

Saying to my oldest daughter you are right he is an Ass Hole.















 

I'll Get My Blogging Legs Back Here!

I NEVER THANKED KATIE COURIC FOR THE NAME OF THIS BLOG.

Is there life after death?

There could be if you do what my mother did.

My mother planned what she wanted done with her remains 3 years before her passing which was this past February 17. 

Talking to her in the hospital I found all she was asking out of her life was another three years just making it to 77 on November 11, 2009 her birthday. 

What the heck? 

It was just pneumonia! 

She spent Thanksgiving of '09 in the hospital and recovered without complications.

My mother was healthier than most of the people I know including me.  This lady worked out with a portable oxygen tank because she did have emphysema.  Two weeks before her hospital stay she was trying to get her leg strength back pressing 225 LBS.

As healthy as she was with the complication of blood clots in her lungs and a DNR on her medical folder she left us with her remains.

As we picked through her stuff there was pedestal in the closet that nobody seemed to want.

I inherited the pedestal along with other stuff.

Some how or other I also was designated to take the urn.

From the first day seeing my mother in the hospital until two weeks later when she died I thought to myself this is the most time spent with my mother in the past five years.

Now there is not a day that goes by I don't think of her and how she was planning ahead even the end as I look at her urn on her pedestal. 






 



 

I Want To Start, Do Not Know Where To, Do Not Let Me Stop!

It has certainly been a while!

The only thing I care to to tell you is that you might not want to know where I  been.

My blood pressure has risen in the events of what my life has given me for giving or not giving enough to others.

50's being the new 30's brings with it some amazing shit.

When I originally married at 21 years old to my 20 year old wife in 1975 my idea was to start a family right then and there so when we were 50 we could jump in our RV and see the USA.

Of course you know the story never goes the way you plan no matter how smart you think you are and I was of course a freeking genius.  NOT!

In the 70's I was DRIVEN to prove to my peers that I was equal physically and eventually would Walk Off muscle atrophy in my left leg from Polio and Scoliosis in my back.

I was fortunate according to a UMass Boston Professor who many years later said to me, "I though you broke your leg, polio would have been rough for you if you were not as handsome as you are."

Getting a Degree was supposed to get me off of the states disability payroll not realizing at the time that I should have been tested for ADD which would have helped in having that degree two years ago since my great looks did not seem help in midterms and finals where I knew the material.

Where is the DRIVE?

I loved going to UMass Boston when I was learning something I liked.

Screw the test they did not prove anything except that some retain some don't but will they know it later?

No!

They'll do what I do now when I need to know something or re-remember something, Google it.

Here is how I revived the DRIVE

http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/ 

This is just a tidbit of things I have read from her bolg that have inspired me to be back and stay back with you folks who happen to stop by.

"And, this pretty much covers everyone, right? The super-focused and the super-lost: You should all be blogging."

Having small children is chalening but watching a grandchild get shit for just being a kid in your child's care is nothing to brag about.

Watching your children having a good life then watch it get washed away not by flood or hurricane but by things you don't want to admit to, then have to listen to stranger than the truth stories of how things got so carried away without hearing a real explanation.

What do I know?

Pretty basic.

I was disabled working in a factory for 23 years, had many perfect attendance awards one was for 11 years of perfect attendance.

No one can tell me I did not have a great work ethic.

One thing I know now I did not then was after two years your value as an employee goes up as your salary goes down.

Think about that! 

But if you do not work period, you cannot have a home or a car and my grandchild gets to have Rent-A-Center http://www6.rentacenter.com/Rent-A-Center-Home.html#1 come and take your Christmas present's monitor away then eventually everything else!

This is a tad of what was holding my post back.

It is not my health it is my broken heart.

I'm not perfect which makes it tougher for me to come up with positive things to write about.

Would love to have your imput.

One Speeding Ticket After 38 Years Driving

Drove from Revere to LA twice via Chicago, to Orlando, to Atlanta in the past 5 years and all over this country before that time; Never had a speeding ticket. 

This past August on my way to Atlanta it finally happened at two in the mornnng in Connecticut trying my best to avoid crazy traffic by leaving Revere at 11:45 PM.  I am not a fast driver by nature but tend to try to avoid bottle necks by zooming around them which in most cases takes some acceleration which is what happened in this case. 

I have been told by a friend in most states; if one is on a highway and they drive ten miles an hour over the speed limit that in most cases and found in most states that you will not get pulled over for speeding, having seen this first hand.  I am not a reckless nor an aggressive driver but often pull around bottlenecks of traffic using cation by always signaling to let others know of my intentions. 

This is what happened on the morning in question.  I did not blame the officer's concern by my speed for the safety of others nor for asking me to explain.  I thought at the time and assuming he ran my license plate he would have seen a clean driving record and that a warning would have been appropriate for the violation.  I assumed that is was a warning handed to me and was shocked to learn he sited me for speeding.

I admit am not perfect having a DWI over twenty years ago which I made a vow and stuck to it, which was never to drink and drive ever.  I paid dearly for this in more ways than one.

In all I would rate my self a very safe driver always on the lookout for the unusual,  actualy avoiding some potentially lethal situations from drivers not paying attention or who may be under the influence of something, texting, on a cell phone or trying to read.

I will apper in court expecting the worse hoping for the best.

So please drive safely our lives depend on it. 

It's About Time!

For those of you that enjoy my rants I am sorry.

There has been lots to write about just have not taken the time to do what I though I loved to do, so I spontaneously decided to get on here.

It has been a while as I can see as you can also.

My WordPress blog has gotten recent attention but my two websites have been neglected and I am about to feel like I am working again because even if you have a cause or a passion for one, you still have bills to pay. I am not going out tomorrow and finding a way to monetize this blog but I do have to get cracking the whip on my two websites and find a solution to this dyslexia.

I just finished the Sacred Heart Medical Diet and out of the 17 LBS I was supposed to loose I only lost 4LBS making me eat something real fattening today but I only had a single serving. It was a frozen slice of  a steak bomb calzone.  Before doing this diet, by the way it did manage to eliminate visible fat, I was binging while exceeding calories far beyond that of mortal men.  I was letting feelings interfere with my physical health.

Believe it or not I use to have a journal still do but what was happening with that was my life was such a bore when I would want to reference what was going on in my life a year ago on a specific day it was almost the same to the letter.  Now that the kids no longer live here and now hate me forever things have not gotten anymore exciting but it is not that I have not tried.

Read a couple of my past post and you can see I have been trying to do something with my life. My experience can help someone I'm sure and it all I have to give.

Direct Loans Getting Direct!

Do Not Know Why I Did Not Take Action Before They Did.

With All The Bailouts, Where Is Mine?  

I guess slapping my mother with my inability to fend off Polio was the first mistake?  Taking a little beautiful handsome baby boy with a great disposition barely a year old then sticking him in an Iron lung because the government did not check to see if water was safe to swim in like they would have today but knew enough to separate my mother who was pregnant with my youngest sister along with my oldest sister, leaving my father to visit me for the family.  My mother could never figure out why God would let this happen, being a devout Catholic having a former alter boy for husband is what kept it together for this lady who was bringing children like many young family's into the new prospering society after a great depression and a world war; it was a time to start producing the first round of Baby Boomers.  My mother had hope for my future after seeing an older man with the ravages of Polio who assured her that the government would pay for my education like they did his.

What Happened To My Paid Education? 

Who needed a stinking education?  I guess that was my stupid attitude since my handicap never stopped me from doing what I wanted.  I actually thought I could exercise my way out  of the ravages of this Polio.  I  never worked on my weakness in Math which kept me back twice thanks to the City of Revere and the school system.  I never got to see the eight grade but was forwarded to the ninth grade with other troubled teens by a demented junior high school principle who was convinced I was on drugs because most of my peers in this transfer were.  I remember the huge desk he sat at and pounded in front of me as he rambled on with street names of drugs I never heard of except weed, I knew about that, insisting I knew about the other drugs he was talking about.  I  was happy just to have the chance of being a grade ahead since the stigma of staying back twice did not do anything for my confidence.  The best part was being stuck in my childhood sweetheart's homeroom as her last name started with a "Z" it was the only one with the room for the Bad Boys.  I was never diagnosed with ADD since it was just coming to lite at that time although I did have my share of phycologist; focus always was and still is an issue today.  What I did not need at this time was a new school which is what happened next.  Being among this group of Bad Boys entitled me to be eligible for the regional vocational high school that was just built.  My father was a mechanic, a good one which encouraged him to open two gas stations when he was younger.  I told him that is what I wanted to take at this Vocational school.  He did not want that life for me and since I insisted he told me if I have to be in the auto industry I should do what my uncle did which was Auto-body which was also dirty but much better money.  Then I suffered phycological trauma when I was thrown in the Auto-body tool cage for two weeks while the school administration decided for me that since they were stuck with me, in the name of safety, they had no choice but to stick me in mechanical drafting.  This teacher also had Polio. He thought he could make me a better person by making me draw over and over but this lowered my grade, until I proved to his superior that he was putting undue pressure on me by having a previously A graded paper by a peer giving me an B- on it.  I wanted to get into architecture and was offered to be personally trained by the other teacher but did not want special treatment sticking it out for the rest of the semester. After that semester I was seventeen and my family was  moving to another town into our first house after living in the Revere projects most of my life. My little sister and I started  going to a high school made for the three towns surrounding it.  This school you could say is responsible for my first ever published article but I would once again experience more trauma because I said the word shit while explaining something about my writing to the English teacher.  That was it, I was going to be a writer by working in a factory that made photo typesetters?

So Much For Trying To Be A Writer In A Factory!

I got my GED and the factory paid for my college education and books.  Before outsourcing became the new trend and unions were actually not a good thing I actually helped put my self out of a job by facilitating a team that found out how to reduce the cost of manufacturing photo typesetters.  Then cheaper technology put everyone out of work causing the downsizing trend.  After 23 years with this company, although their timing was a bit off letting people go two weeks before Thanks Giving and in my case I was in process of buying my first home, they laid me off with a great severance package.

Eventually this Polio crap caught up to me stemming from an accident I had on the job about 5 years before they let me go.  I went from what would take a quick paced walk to catch up to me to a slower than a turtles pace which I'm at now which is an improvement over walking on my ankle which I was doing before corrective surgery enabled me to walk on the soul of my foot.  With an under active thyroid battling weight gain is a daily struggle along with high blood pressure.  I'm sorry but this to me is a disability.  The Mass Rehabilitation Commission thinks that I do not deserve my SSDI check and have been doing their best to get that money back because drug addicts and alcoholics are worse off than a man who now admits he has a physical problem unlike drugs and alcohol which come from a choice, Polio was not a choice. 

It Doesn't Get Much Better Than Today!

Actually it does get better than this but this day here is the best so far.  

The traffic is not bad yet. It gets crazy at this house as far as noise levels go.  Being ten feet away from a two lane highway near an intersection that takes you to the  World Famous Kelly's Roast Beef & Seafood on Revere Beach the first public in America things can get hectic for those of us who live blocks away. Some of us hate the nice weekends for this very reason.  It doesn't need to be as warm as is today to before things get out of hand at the intersection in front of my house.  Everyone who stops there is different, some are to busy talking on their cell phones to notice the green arrow even though the traffic all being stopped is a cue for some but most are clueless then the impatient ones lay on the horn, then there is the road rage freaks who actually get out of there vehicles then they become what they were so pissed about. The best thing is vehicles can only get on the beach from this intersection.  The street itself is a two way from Kelly's parking area.

I was really hoping the nice day and empty house would help inspire some words out of me.  I do write this blog for you and want to make it interesting for all visitors.

Monday was the day I thought was going to start the Summer.  I had all the windows open but was cautioned by the weather man that it was going to rain later but did not remember him saying anything about the drop in temperature.  Tuesday sucked Wednesday was nice but could have been a lot warmer.  Yesterday was a start of warm up that may end tonight.

THE M&T's REUNION.

Did you have enough of the weather?  Let me tell you what happened this past Monday evening besides me having to close all the windows and put the heat back on which I wouldn't think of doing right now.   I have no idea who reads this blog and what the average age is but I have a couple of questions to people my age.  Did you hang around a specific corner when you were a teen?  Did you ever think of having a reunion with the folks that hung around that corner?  37 years later someone from our corner thought up this great idea and somehow pulled it off. To top it off someone from the corner even had a downed by the economy restaurant that was so slow on Mondays he opened it for this event.  The woman who ran the event was a very close friends to my wife and I when we  were young and free.  My wife had to be in the house before the streetlights went on which was my fault as one night, when she had to be in by nine O'clock, we fell asleep cuddling very close to her house.  Her parents were very strict, obviously.  I was allowed to be with my wife but was not allowed in the house.  Who knows why they had these rules because when my wife went in she could stay up until the sun rose.  My parents were not as strict as long as I was not grounded for something.

M&T's was opened till 9:00 and Tom let us hang around the store after hours as long as we kept it down, the noise that is.  If things got too noisy we went to the Whelan School which could keep a larger crowd dry on a rainy night but I do not remember them.  Actually I do not remember much from those days except that we did hang out together for hours.

When we got to the reunion the rain that was coming down along with the thermostat altering temperatures. The woman who put this thing together was having a cigarette with the woman who was her sidekick or partner in crime or what ever it was they were up to back then because they were always up to something.  Seeing them together was something that was expected but wearing very strong glasses? I doubt I would recognize either one of them if I bumped into them anywhere but this reunion.  I really did not care to stand in the rain though I do not mind occasional second had cigarette smoke, but went inside. 

This is what I looked like back then but how would these folks remember or recognize me now?  I still walk with crutches!  The reason I mention this is because when I walked into the restaurant there was this biker wearing a black skullcap with a Harley Davidson emblem on it sitting at the end of the bar with a long thinned out ZZ-Top beard staring me right in the eye with a smirk.  I  asked, "You know me?" he said, "you're Michael Cantone."  He then asked, "You know me?"  I must have burnt out my internal flash drive seeing if I could picture this guy 37 years earlier.  I pride myself on my recollection of faces and or anything analog for that matter but I was stunned that I was stumped as I would be later on in the evening.   I asked, "Who are you?" He said, "I'm not telling you."  I turned to my wife for assistance she managed to remember.  Then there were the folks even after 37 years didn't change much. Here we were all together in this restaurant.  It was ten dollar per couple which included food and a cash bar.

I Wish I Knew Then What I Know Now

Planning my second trip to Florida this year!

Have not been blogging as much as planned on at the beginning of the year.  Hard to believe this guy (me) use to faithfully keep a daily journal.  There were some highlights but it was mostly the same old stuff over and over again just like in the movie "Ground Hog Day" except there were no crazy attempts at changing the events in my life.  

Here is a synopsis of a couple of entries;

During the morning of 9-11 and previous morning before that some kid thought it was hysterical bringing his 100lb Rottweiler puppy up to my fence where Stumpy my little 20lb white American Eskimo stood guard nearly having had a heart attack barking like he meant business while he sized up the puppy who had no idea why my boy was upset and I could never figure out why this stupid kid thought it was so funny.

Then the second plane hit the second tower,

But that is history and so is my little boy.  It's funny how I think of him more than I think of humans that have past on.

When I think of the Title of this entry it doesn't matter what I knew then because what I knew then has no bearing on what is happening today.  Maybe my journals of babel will be what I need to reference what the world was like back then.  What will the world be like in twenty years?  Will we have those doctors  to make great discoveries to extend our lives?  Please don't count on it.  When everything has a dollar sign on that is what the students in school are focused on.  How do I know?  I was there.  I struggled with Math discovering later doing research on marketing for Baby Boomer's that it is natural for someone my age to have problems in academics. Young adults going to UMass where thinking, "Where is the short cut?"  Instead of learning the mechanics of the math.  They just knew they could cram a little and test out into a higher level where they would end up failing because they wanted the prize which was the high paying nursing job.  Knew another young lady who had math ability wanted to be a nurse but sucked at people ability.  It scares me quite a bit what I see happening and what is coming out of our colleges.  Just watch Jay Leno's J walking.  If they aint acting this county or at least in California is in for some deep trouble.  Who is going to take care of the Greater Generation?

No One To Blame But Me

As the first quarter winds down it is time to cut the crap.

Now we realize it cost $500.00 to have a LLC.

Tax ID?

We have one, just no idea yet how much it cost; we just know if you outsource this task make sure you make it local to your state.

If your not making $4000.00 per week go do it your self.

Then if your waiting for the state longer than expected for some reason, such as articles, you do not have to wait for a Valley girl who would rather polish her nails because the weekend is more important than your companies first start in business, you can call them your self.

I might be too emotional to be in this business for the fact that  I expect a product to do what it is supposed to and when doesn't it devastates me.

Now it is time to go back to work on my Expert WordPress blog.

Have to get back on target to what my company does or at least should be doing and that is helping companies get hooked up with trusted web designers and services for online profits.

This by the way this is not going to be my flagship blog for my company.

This blog more or less what use to be done daily before researching IM, which was to have a daily journal and as one can see this has been anything but consistent.

It has been up and down as far as my emotions like when finally taking the steps to get my LLC for MRLLC it was going to be my year instead it was my slap down.

I'm sure Erik got his affiliate check for my trust in him.

This makes me realize I could NEVER screw anyone the way that MyCorporation.com screwed me.

My wife says we should let Erik know.

What do you think? 

My Slow Learning Curve Might Be Blessing in Disguise

Finally got my Expert WordPress blog up!

Now to fill it in and let it make some money.

Been at this since 2006 but like most who make the attempt we were paralyzed by constant analysis and distrust from being ripped off so many times in the off line world were all they wanted was the list.

It is the same in the online world of business except what you want to learn they will sell you after giving you tons of free valuable information.

But like in previous entries in this blog and my other WP blog;

I have told you

they tell you they will take you step by step,

which they do,

but they never tell you where the door is.


My purpose for this blog is find the door and let you in it.

Believe it or not we are still looking.


The reason of the title for this entry "My Slow Learning Curve Might Be Blessing in Disguise", is if we found the door to our business we would be in business! 


Our business is to give advice to small to large business about having an advantage in their business buy having a web site and to businesses that already have a web site; analyze their web site letting them know if it is even worth keeping that web site up on the web.


Knowing what we know can make on average a 10% increase in store traffic.


Many profitable businesses want to increase their bottom line if they are a real business.


See that confidence!


Don't mean crap if you don't have your corporation set up.


They do not tell you that!


They had me so convinced that this was going to be my year!


We paid for a service from a company that did not do what they said they would.
 

Who are they?



Don't you hate that? 



When you don't know who THEY are.



Please let me distinguish who the THEY's are.



Most of the references to THEY of course are the IM Gurus.



But the THEY who we paid $280.00 for the service of incorporating Millennium Resources LLC are a well known and reliable BBB member that go by the name MyCorporation.com.



They told me we can't go to a bank to even apply for a loan until my package arrives.


We can't be affiliated with any Guru's without a TAX ID.


 MyCorporation.com. says the state of Massachusetts is holding our papers of corporation since Decemeber 3, 2008.




What do you think?


 

How Will I Do It?

It was a long weekend but it was a happy one.

Making sure my wife was my focus not my IM interest.

I had plenty of opportunity to check my emails which most were affiliate promotions about Frank Kern's Mass Control 2 launch.

Pissed myself off for not being an affiliate of this huge event realizing I have no credibility... yet.

I was notified way before getting anything from Frank about MC2.

He was about the third to contact me which meant buying MC2 from him directly would be all I would have received when there was so much more to have by getting from someone else.

It no longer surprises me at all of the who's who in IM that sent me their invitations to MC2 letting me have for free what would have cost thousands only months ago.

All the free stuff?

Yea, all the free stuff that was selling for thousands, supposed to sell out fast, never to be sold again, also?

Now it is free?

I know who did buy it.

Newbies, the Rich, a combination of both and of course IM Guru's.

Some might have bought it for their thirteen year old sons or daughters so you can feel dumb for not buying it when they give their video testimonial in front of an expensive microphone.

NO.

You give me your money.

Don't Forget Valentines Day, Ever!

It is a long weekend I hope my honey will let me put back the time needed to invest in Valentines Day back into my business this week that is currently and coincidently in the red.

Trying to get my head around the delays experienced lately.

The last thing needed  is start listening to the teachers of this internet marketing stuff all over again.  I am, taking the steps that they are going over and doing them but apparently my waiting for my papers is no excuse not to get going.

Depending on my affiliate stuff to finance my corporations business expenses which would include some of the labor being done.  It is a one man show right now; because outsourcing is not an option unless someone would work for free.

Things are not that bad if one can afford to buy a Valentines day gift.

Happy Valentines Day!

The Title of This Blog...Where Did It Come From?

It has been quite some time since making an entry; though the thought kept coming to get on here and do it, my life in the world of overwhelm just got in the way.

Speaking of overwhelm, wanting to make this entry have something to do with the title will take some work because that is what the author has been doing.

Let me explain.

On the weekend before this years Super Bowl, well actually that Tuesday earlier on, my journey was to Orlando Florida from here in Revere.

My first mission was to visit my cousin in Orlando who I have not seen in 37 years.

Back then we were both what my mother calls, Hippie Types, remembering that my cousins hair was much longer than mine.

He originally said he might be interested in what I was actually heading down that way for which was to attend the NAMS (Niche Affiliate Marketing System) workshop in Atalata GA.

Ever since being in this Internet Marketing business all the Guru's tell you, you have to network by going to conferences and workshops.

The price was right for NAMS and there was Only One Guru there that was my priority to see and that was the Famous Willie Crawford.

Here is where the naming of this blog comes in.

My niche or the segment of the market is the Baby Boomer, Greater Generation or Jones Generation finding out recently that is what my personal segment is called; have not researched it but it sounds credible.

Research of Baby Boomer's led me to reading a book "The Boomer Consumer" discovering where the name of this blog originated, where it said that Baby Boomer's are aging differently than our parents, mentioning that Katie Couric had a TV special highlighting some well knowns including herself claiming 50's is The New 30's.

Thanks Katie!

Research to this pint has led to bookmarking 42 Baby Boomer related blogs and currently reading The Greater Generation which is half read to this point.

Have lots of work to do in order to communicate well with Baby Boomer's who are not as well greeted as we should be considering  what Baby Boomer's have done to change the world from where the Greatest Generations left off with status quo.  

How To Survive Being Laid Off - Is A Controllable State Of Mind

My wife has every reason in the world to be angry and scared!
Not only is the economy bleak her disabled husband on a fixed income is trying to increase their income doing the only thing he can do which is trying Internet Marketing.

We had a pretty good income considering the situation for a family of four in their first home they ever bought; almost loosing it by being laid off two weeks before signing papers in 1995.  Before we were ever even considered for finance for the house we had to write letters to companies we owed to see if we could settle our debts to clear up our credit report which we got squeaky clean.



  

I got laid off just as we were about to sign papers, it was devastating.  We had no idea what to say to the agent from the Realtor.  When we finally did tell her she said to me, "You have to get a job!"

Like I was going to find a job after working 23 years for one company?




Who would hire me?

I needed a job with benefits even though my weekly income with insurance included would not change for Eleven months due to a great severance package.

To qualify for the financing I needed a job with insurance.

What was the worse thing that could happen at this point?

We could stay in our swiss cheese apartment which was the only explanation for going through some serious fuel consumption or it was being evenly distributed to the two apartments below us.

I had two weeks to get a job with insurance benefits and have our own home to heat.

The other benefit I had working at one company for 23 years was the education they paid for, my Business Degree from Newbury College.  It was what gave me an ability to write a great Resume' and enough experience in many departments that had everything to do with electronics and the latest salable technologies skill sets.


  

The best thing happened the week following the lay off was there was an Electronics Job Fair in Boston.

With a hand full of Resume's I gave one to every booth, talked to a half dozen recruiters and got two future interviews but nothing right then an there.  Not feeling very lucky on the Electronics side of the Job Fair I decided to cross the isle into the Sales and Marketing world.

With no official sales or marketing skills I handed my resume' to recruiters who rolled their eyes in their heads after seeing it.  "Sorry."  They would say.  Then there was a man standing there.  I gave this man my spiel instead of my Resume' and landed it my job with insurance benefits.

What was the job?

It was a Telemarketing job selling Pagers and Beepers to businesses.

My goal at Pagenet was to climb to the top and then buy the company.

With cell phones showing some serious competition with vibration, beeps with talking abilities instead of running to some snot covered public phones my job became tougher and there was no need to have a sales manager telling us we needed to work harder.

After a two months I gave two weeks notice.

I was an electronic technician temp finally landing a job in a company I only dreamed of working in HP.  I was only a temp and when your a temp in a place like HP they let you know it.  But I made more money than they did I didn't let them know that.

Money not being everything I worked closer to home for less money in pay but also less in gas and time spent getting there.

As electronic firms outsourced, electronic jobs dwindled, contracts got shorter and skill levels went up.  

I liked the money that was coming but my body was saying stop.  If I was a permanent employee they would have fired me or laid me off for all the time taking off because of a poorly built leg brace.  I had no time while being tortured while expecting a brace repair that basically put an end to my career.

For two years my wife's job was the only income while I was unable to work before jumping through hoops to get on SSDI.

We live in our own house which is modest at best for a description.




Now it is my wifes turn for a lay off and in her anticipation she has been on edge forcing me to cut my cost. It is not a lot of money going out but when nothing is coming in, at all, I have to at least make up what was all ready spent and use that knowledge to get some continuity for what I do know instead giving it away on what I don't know or really need.  I don't want to get paid out of  my desperation just want to help those who need it if I can.





Her point is so right while I flounder around almost finding answers to making money online will I ever be able to compensate my income from SSDI?