Friday, May 21, 2010

Why Mother's Day Sucked For This Father

No matter how high I lift myself from my un-clinical depression I can always count on my kids to bring me back down a couple of notches.

If in my 30's like I wished I would have thrown my, 15 year old acting 34 year old, daughter's boyfriend off the deck of my house and would be writing this as I awaited pending murder charges.

This past Mother's Day had the best weather anyone could have asked for.

This day was perfect for my gift to my mother.

It was the day that I intended to honor her last wishes which was to scatter her ashes on Revere Beach.

I couldn't honor my mother's wishes to the T because two of her friends were too busy being honored by their  own kids.

The one thing I know she wanted was her three remaining children to be there.

One of the people she wanted there was the woman who she sponsored in AA for 20 years.

This lady 20 years sober was our preacher who quoted highlighted phrases that my mother chose long before this day from her 12 Step book from AA.

There were 7 people present 3 people from AA , her remaining children and my wife for this beautiful ceremony.

The wind was gusting perfectly for this day and now we can visit this spot and speak to her anytime.

It was what my mother wanted.

If my mother was buried instead of being scattered in the wind along Revere Beach she would have turned in her grave at what was about to happen next.


Every time I see or hear those words they are a reminder of what was said to me in front of my mother 2 days before she died.

Those words also remind me of how I myself seldom CANDY COAT what I have to say and this day was the day it kicked me in the ass.

I can't even imagine being my wife on her day, well this day anyway.

My wife works her ass off so I can sit on mine while I find a way to get off YOUR dime.

My kids all three of them are from the THE ENTITLED GENERATION while I'm from the Baby Boomer Generation with a little flaw, that of getting out of debt after spending way beyond my means to purchase my first and only home.

I'm not going to whine to anyone how Post Polio takes its toll on my energy that can only be described as trying to keep an old rechargeable battery charged.

The mental, especially when I go MENTAL, drains me; which prevents the battery from charging.

Both my wife and I are trying to lose weight although she is only10 LBS over my 55 LBS and the holidays slow any progress for either of us.

So off we went reluctantly to get some Chinese comfort food to take back to the house for the kids and us.

I felt emotionally sound after fulfilling my mother's wishes.

My son and his wife did not show so it was my youngest and oldest daughters who joined us on this special day.

My youngest a mother, who is now back home for a second shot at trying to get her finances back in order was there with her son without the man who was the cause of them now living the last of their days in their second try at their apartment.

I'm really hoping she will turn it around for her and my grandson who deserves so much more.

My oldest was there with her DWI pending boy friend who smelled and acted like he had enough to drink at his parents already.

My oldest was walking around with 2 bottles of wine that were given to us by the woman's husband who my mother sponsored in AA.

I was throwing a couple of jabs at my oldest daughter who believes in Karma that let her former boss hug and kiss her recently after he fired her without any grounds to do so.

DWI was getting loud about this because he did not understand my sarcasm as I was being a bit more graphic by saying she French kissed the guy who should have got fired for sexual harassment.

I noticed DWI was louder than past visits and smelling of alcohol before the wine which should have been my warning for my kick in the ass.

After letting DWI know where the wine he was chugging came from I went down the road of "You should go to a couple of meetings."

He went down the river of Denial.

I can not preach AA but when ever I see someone with THE problem I give it a shot.

We talked about movies which led DWI to reveal that my oldest daughter had 22 of my DVDs which seemed to concern him way more than me.

But these next revelation were about sink me below the level of my shoes.

After my wife finally sat to relax with us we talked about losing weigh.

My oldest daughter was telling us how she was on a cleansing diet that she intended to get back on knowing there was good probability that we would have Chinese food.

DWI who is thin and well built was praising my daughter on her efforts and how he could NEVER do it.

I'm thinking, "If you were as fat as I am you would have no problem doing what my daughter is doing"

Ideally I'm 55 LBS over, doctor wise 96 LBS and Metropolitan wise 81 LBS over weight thinking in my pea brain this gave me the God given write to call DWI Shallow Hal.

This was it... this was how he could show his love for his girl by finally agreeing to what SHE was telling him about ME all along!

He says to me you should apologise.

I'm thinking to myself, "I'm only kidding what is this guys problem beside being drunk?"

He insisted I apologise. 

Finally I did, thinking maybe he's missing something in the translation to English from Portuguese?

He insisted again 2 more times.

I lost all my composure and yelled this time and asked him to leave after refusing my apology.

My kick in my ass was not thinking of my oldest daughter who I should have apologised to.

On the way out the door I was told by DWI you are an "Ass Hole!"

Saying to my oldest daughter you are right he is an Ass Hole.